Uplift & Implode

2008-10-01T13:03:00.001-07:00

Man, I haven't posted anything here in a while again. Oops. Been busy as hell again. This past weekend was devoted entirely to 'work' for starters. And I don't mean I spent it in the office.

Friday night was a trip to Michaels and a mad rush to work on some bookmarks with my site on them, which I wanted to have with me for Saturday night. Saturday started working on a craft commission. Remember that blue floral hair clip I made a while back? Well, I got commissioned to do one in pink/yellow/white for a quinceanera, so I spent the afternoon working on that. And then in the evening I had a poetry reading in Piscataway--my first paid gig whoo! heh--which I think went over pretty well, though I still talk too fast. Whoops! I'll work on that. My mouth and brain just refuse to move at the same speed! Sunday was Dre and Paulo's Wedding! We got majorly lost between the ceremony and reception, but all's well that ends well, right?

This is the art I made for their wedding gift:

(Which I can finally post now that they got it first.) Overall I'm pretty happy with this turned out, so I'm making signed matte prints available. Use the 'Contact Me' form @ http://subsequentvisions.com if you're interested. Signed 8.5 x 11 prints are priced at $25. Mini (half page) prints can also be made available upon request.

And now that that nonsense is out of the way, I have been OBSESSED recently with Xenosaga. I know, I'm way behind schedule on that one. I haven't been able to stop playing since like five hours into the first game. Now I'm nearing the end of the third and I'm convinced that:

a) Shion is kind of a bitch.

b) Ziggy is the most awesome person ever and

c) I don't understand 90% of the religious references, but that's fine because most of the characters and the story overall are just awesome (even if the battle system in the second game was complete trash.)

And best of all, it seems I can stay on my 'Girls Only' schedule as long as I write like mad on my lunch breaks, which is a relief. I can actually have some illusion of free time! To play more xenosaga, of course.

Since the reading my muse has really been into poetry again, but i only expect that to last another day or two at best. Though, I'm already 40 pages into my next manuscript thanks to it so far! haha. I won't be looking in the mouths of any gift horses, you know?

As things stand, I don't think I'll be able to do Nanowrimo this year after all, as much as I'd like to. We'll see how October goes. (Can you believe it's already October?! Where the hell has the year gone?!!!)

Well, that's all I really have time to say for now. Will try to update again soon.

New Chapter!

2008-08-31T15:07:00.000-07:00

Phew! Haven't posted an update here in a while. So, I've been basically working my ass off trying to get 'Girls Only' chapter two up by September first and, yep, you guessed it, I JUST FINISHED. It's on site and ready to read: http://subsequentvisions.com/go2.htm . So check it out.

I figure I should mention at this point, for anyone out there who's completely anal retentive, the views in the story ARE just the views of the characters and that I don't want anyone jumping down my throat about them. I refuse to justify the thought process of a fictional character. Most days I refuse to justify even my own. They're made up, their thoughts are not my thoughts, so there. The new chapter will hit fictionpress.com on or around the 15th, but you can read it on my site NOW. So go. Seriously. NOW. Why are you still reading my pointless babbles?

Added a new, pretty crappy art to the drawing and painting section of the site too, but not much else is going on. Now, I've got to update the updates section and then EAT SOMETHING. Did I eat anything other than two cookies today?

Until Next Time,
read my gosh darn story!

~Denryu~

Busy Busy

2008-08-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd better throw in an update since it's kind of been a while (and I'm waiting for a report to load at work--so I've got 10 minutes if uninterupted--slow ass program). Regardless, this is going to be pretty abbreviated.

Still working on 'Girls Only', plugging away with an anticipated Chapter 2 release date of September 1st. But other than that no real news on that front to share.

At right is that lineart I just HAD TO draw when last I posted. My little

anime version of Azrael.

Also finally finished a piece I've been working on in some way shape or form since FEBRUARY--so glad that's done, you have no idea.

That one's below:

You can buy this one on the usual t-shirts, mousepads, mugs, etc. here.

The direct link to that shop hasn't been added to subsequentvisions.com yet--hoping to do that over the weekend (along with a billion other things).

Also adding some prints to my etsy. Only have This One up so far, but more will be coming soon. Check out http://tradejack.etsy.com/ sometime next week for more--or you can always order prints via email at my website as well. Who needs the middle man, right?

Anyway, that boring post is all I have to say for now. I'll try to do some of that meaningless rambling I so love later in the week if I can find some time to breathe.

Muses are Finicky and Have Bad Timing

2008-07-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

So, anyone who reads this blog must already know that I'm both a writer and artist. And if you don't know, why the hell not? Haven't you been paying attention? Didn't anyone tell you there was going to be a quiz? I'll save that for another time though, so don't run away screaming just yet.

Now, as a writer, I've had days where I thought, 'I want to write' and stories that just haunt me and will not go away until I put them on paper for prosterity--not all of these stories have been good but, you know, that's just how it goes. There have been days that I have just HAD TO write. To not do so would be roughly the same as forgetting to breathe.

I'm pointing this out because until last night I have NEVER had that sort of day as an artist. I've never felt 'I have to draw. Today. Now.' I've never had an artistic idea that struck me so firmly that I HAD TO get it on paper immediately. Basically, art has always been something I had to think about. But here I am last night, driving home at 6:30 pm after work and a 30 minute stop at dad's to do some work on his computer, listening to one of the most random cd compilations in all creation, and this idea just hits me and BAM! All of a sudden I'm sketching the thing out in my brain--picturing the trajectory line, the arch of the shoulders, the way the knee should bend, the angle of the ankle and foot. And I'm thinking 'wtf?'

I couldn't get home fast enough to sketch it out. Got in, changed into my boxers and t-shirt, got out my graphic pencils and computer paper and just pump it out. Had the basic lines done by bed time. Now, that may seem like 'big deal' but one night, 5 hours, is kind of a record for me. I'm what you might call a 'slow and sloppy' artist. In other words, I have to do a preliminary inking over my sketch just to get something recognizable enough to clean up. Then I take another pass at it in pencil with a second sheet of paper, THEN lineart.

This morning I woke up and instead of dozing on the recliner I continued said lineart. With any luck, I'll be able to finish it over lunch break and scan it tonight.

I guess there's something to be said for sudden inspiration, but I sure wish it would inspire me to work on projects that I'm trying to COMPLETE instead of new ones! haha.

And Now, For Something Completely Random...

2008-07-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, so picture this:

It's 11:15 pm on a Thursday night and you're brushing your teeth before bed. Minding your own business. One of your psychotic cats jumps up onto the counter. (You have cats, okay? Otherwise this entire story makes no sense.) Anyway, your psychotic black cat jumps onto the counter wanting pre-bedtime attention like every night, so you turn your head, and that's when you notice the warning label on the bucket of kitty litter behind him. It reads:

"Warning! Children can drown in buckets containing only small amounts of water. Keep children away from buckets with water in them."

And so you think 'huh?' Apparently warnings don't need to have anything to do with the product in question. There was no 'kitty litter may be hazardous to your health if ingested' or 'do not apply to open wounds'. No. What's the Scoop Away signature warning?--Children can drown in here...if you ever put water in it. Wtf? I get that you can use the kitty litter bucket for other things after it's empty, but can the company honestly be held responsible for things that happens when their disposable container is used for purposes other than it's original intent--holding kitty litter?? Was Scoop Away sued for a baby drowning incident?

So, you go to bed, sullenly preparing yourself for horrific dreams of small children drowning in kitty litter, just like I did last night. Thankfully, I have no small children.

As far as other stuff, my favorite comic on Last Comic Standing--Papa CJ--was eliminated last night, so that's a bit disappointing, but not surprising after how horribly he BOMBED the prop comedy challenge. So now my top three are Iliza, Marcus, and Sean, in no particular order.

Also saw a preview for a new fall NBC Show starring Christian Slater, My Own Worst Enemy, so Mike and I are pretty excited about that. To use Mike's explanation of why we MUST watch this show: "It combines two things I love and two things you love! I love multiple personalities and spys, and you love Christian Slater and violence!" ...which makes me wonder just why it is that that statement makes me sound like the psychopath of the household. Action, Mike, not Violence. ACTION. And don't mistake 'love Christian Slater' in that "omigod he's so dreamy" kind of way--because totally no. It's more of a "there's something about Christian Slater that's just plain awesome" kind of way.

On that subject, I had a roommate in college, Shelley, who claimed that "Christian Slater is the Devil". She said if the devil had a human face, it would be Christian Slater. In retrospect, if Morgan Freeman can be God, then, well, why not?

Anyway, aside from Eli Stone, that basically covers all the TV I watch (what Mike watches when I happen to be in the room doesn't count.)

SubV stuff: I've added two new dreamcatchers to my ETSY: http://tradejack.etsy.com/ . As always my ETSY page can also be accessed through SubV's craft section. I made these a while ago but couldn't add them because of my camera being missing. Also took some better pictures of the jewelry--they're still not great, but they're better than they were before, so check them out if you're interested.

That's about it for now. I'm shooting to have chapter two of 'Girls Only' on site by August 1st, but I'm not too confident right now that I'm going to make it.

Until Next Time,

~Denryu~

Women Drivers!!

2008-07-14T15:14:00.000-07:00

I swear, today I honestly wished my car had missile launchers. Now, before anyone goes crazy on me, there is a MAJOR difference between women drivers, and female drivers. I, am a female driver. ...and because of that I can say that women drivers have GOT TO GO! Seriously. I got stuck behind a lady almost the whole way home from work who for whatever reason insisted on applying makeup while driving. There are times it is NOT okay to multi-task, ladies, especially when it causes you to drift into oncoming traffic. This woman applied blush, mascara, combed her hair...! If you wear so much makeup that you can't put it on in the parking lot before going inside wherever it is you're going, then you wear way too much! The woman also kept checking a list or some sort of print out, which I could pass off as checking directions if not for the fact she had a passenger in the car fully capable of doing so. How do I know? Because the passenger kept holding up the damn print out and pointing at it! And then, right when I thought it couldn't possibly be any worse she starts CLAPPING...yes, while in motion. And then, stopped at a red light she proceeds to start chatting with the vehicle in the left hand lane. when the left arrow goes on and he/she turns...the wonderful lady in front of me runs a red light WITHOUT SHOWING ANY SIGN OF EVEN NOTICING! Honest to any deity who cares, I hope she gets into an accident--not one major enough to get anyone killed or permanently damaged, but enough to teach the damn idiot a lesson! Argh!

Okay, so I'm done venting. In other news, the revamp was a complete success and I finished it late Saturday. The prelude and chapter 1 of girls only are up in the writing section and ready to read. Once again, for those few of you who might not know already, the website is: http://subsequentvisions.com. So check it out!

Beginning Remodeling

2008-07-12T10:53:00.000-07:00

Well, it's just before 2 pm, EST on 7/12/08 and I'm going to begin the rebuilding of subsequentvisions.com right after a quick run to the food store. I'm expecting to complete it some time tonight, but there are a few other little tasks I need to take care of throughout the day, so I may be working on it tomorrow night as well. Site will definitely be back up by Monday night at the latest.

Down Time

2008-07-11T07:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I can honestly say I am ecstatic that it's Friday. It's been a hell of a week. I endeavored this week to get a lot of things done that I had no business finishing in one week, and then on top of it, Tuesday afternoon my father was hospitalized because of bad stomach cramps. He got home last night and it turns out not to be anything too major--diverticulitis (which I really can't be sure I'm coming even close to spelling correctly), which he used to have when I was a kid and basically boils down to the fact that he can't eat seeds. In the interim Mom and I had to take care of his dog, which for my part mostly involved being on the road by 6:30 in the morning and not getting home until after 9--I'm only just recovering from the exhaustion, but I still managed to get things done.

I've been working on my top secret art project during my lunch breaks at work, wrote the website's text blurbs five words at a time on scrap paper at my desk, and plowed through coding the pages between 9 and 11 at night. Tonight I'll finish the last little bit of coding and do those 'Girls Only' edits. Depending on how late it is (and how tired I am), I may begin moving out the old design and moving in the new one tonight. If not tonight, I'll be working on it tomorrow.

What this means for you is that subsequentvisions.com will be experiencing down time tonight that can extend up to tomorrow evening. During this time the site may be completely down or only partially functional. Please be patient. I will be working as quickly as I can to get it back up at 100% again and expect the process to take no more than 1 full day to complete.

And sooo, you can expect to see the teaser and chapter 1 of "Girls Only" to be up on a fully functional Subsequent Visions by Sunday Morning if all goes according to plan.

That's all I've got going for now. Looking forward to the completeion of another huge project and maybe an easy week next week.

Idiots!

2008-07-08T06:09:00.000-07:00

It started last night when I got a spam aim message from someone named 'Yearning Salmon' about how McCain (sp?) hates bloggers. Well, I hate politicians, so I figure that makes us even, and congratulations, Mr. Salmon, now I hate you too. No real loss: I didn't like salmon in the first place and I like spam mail even less--so AIM SPAM has to be the lowest of the low. So Obama doesn't respect his country and McCain hates bloggers--color me relieved, America. George W. reads the bible every night and still can't remember the story. Get some Ginko, Georgie. You obviously need it.

Then I get a post card from FedEx to confirm my address. You know...the one they mailed the postcard to--via USPS. Wtf? If the United States Postal Service knows where I live, if MAPQUEST knows where I live, then I don't see why you can't figure it out without me. Then you give me your local number...and don't answer your phone, so I have to go through your crappy 800-number automated system and when it gets to "or say More Options" and I say "More Options" it doesn't understand. Twice.

You know, I haven't had a lot delivered by FedEx, most of the companies I deal with ship either via USPS, or UPS, but a buddy of mine always said "if I want to buy something and the company ships by FedEx, I try to find someone else selling it for about the same price." Now I get why. I really don't have any patience at all for blatant stupidity. I guess I'm just not understanding of people who completely lack all common sense.

I've been eating like crap lately too, so I've been going to bed and waking up with an upset stomach and forcing myself to drink soda to calm it--I don't even like soda. I guess I'm just working a little too hard, but if I can get everything I plan to done by Friday I'll be incredibly happy. (I don't think I can make it happen, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to try!)

I'm shooting to have the website redesign and the 'Girls Only' editting done and up this weekend sometime--but I might have company again so who knows if it'll happen as planned. I got another huge chunk of html done last night: the art pages. Now all I have left is the contact and about pages, and other little nonsense stuff like that. The biggest thing I have left is checking all the links and putting it all on site--which I'm hoping I'll be able to get done in one night--I should be able to if I start right after feeding the cats and run straight through to bedtime.

...I think my eyes might fall out by then, but whatever. As long as it gets done quickly. I really want to have the redesign up and just start 'Girls Only' on the new format. I'll be putting up a few incredibly old short stories too. I don't write short stories much, so don't expect them to be all that good.

I found my camera last night, so I should be able to get on a few of those projects that had to be put on hold. I have some dream catchers that I want to put up on Etsy, for starters. The camera fell under the seat of the car, so I found it in the back seat under my winter coat, which still hasn't found its way to the dry cleaner. But now my cousin Kenneth's CD is missing in the car (bah! I can't win for losing!) I think I have it on my computer though, so no big deal if I have to make another copy--and if I don't I can get my dad to make another one for me.

While I'm on the subject, check him out:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=203827272
He's actually pretty awesome. Got some music up there, some youtube videos too--the first one is of questionable sound quality, but the second one down is a lot better.

Geez, my eye is really killing me, but I will persevere! I'm not going to start depending on those damn glasses...but I think that's all I'm going to say for now.

Productive Weekend

2008-07-07T13:10:00.001-07:00

island girl hair claw
Originally uploaded by gunaoverthemoon

Three day weekends can be a real godsend.

Thursday night I ran to Michaels to get some craft supplies and managed to get home in time to do a 20-minute power cleaning of the bathroom, before Last Comic Standing.
Once that was over I spent an hour hunting down my glue gun, and when I found it, made the island girl hair claw pictured, starting at 11:00 pm--I think my creativity is nocturnal, seriously. I always start this sort of project in the middle of the damn night...

Anyway, on the fourth my parents came over, but not until about one, and I managed to finish some preliminary work for an important art project. (It's top secret for now, but sufficed to say I'm on a time crunch.) Needs some cleanup, but the basic linework is done.

Saturday I woke up and painted the kitchen and hall fixtures I've been putting off for months now. The paint was so thin I had to do four coats, but thank god that's done and over with. After that I popped in Fate Stay Night (love it, btw, but too short--I'd have liked to see better development on some of the side characters)and turned on old, neglected desktop (which is still way better for photoshop than my laptop, in spite of being 7 years old), and started working on redesigning my website again. Worked on that seamlessly until about 3 AM. (Creativity=nocturnal, remember?)
Took the weekend off of 'Girls Only', since all I need to do is editing and formatting, and don't expect that to take more than one night, tops.

Sunday I finished up Fate Stay Night and popped in Cowboy beebop while continuing the web design, so now I can proudly say I'm about 75% finished with the redesign after only 2 days of work. Sure, they were 10 hour days and I'm wearing my glasses today because my eyes are killing me, but still, pretty good progress there!

GEEK OUT MOMENT: Lovin' the PageBreeze Free HTML Editor. I was never able to get into Dreamweaver, as good as everyone says it is (just couldn't really get into the layout of the program for whatever reason), and I've been using Free Coffee Cup for years, which is a damn good program too--but I decided to try out PageBreeze when I had to reinstall the program because of the Evil Force that is Vista, and it's very slightly different, but I like the differences. It's very user-friendly with only very basic html needed to make full use of the program.

Also introduced myself to Flickr this weekend, which I think is going to make my life a whole helluva lot easier.

'Girls Only' MAY be on site by next weekend. I'll let you know.

Hate It

2008-07-03T12:02:00.001-07:00

I'm going to redesign my website again. I know the new design has only been up for a month or two, and when I was doing the redesign I liked it. It was long since overdue because I wanted to cover a lot of things that weren't touched on at all in the old design. The current design covers them and well, but it lost way too much personality in the process. It became too much 'business', not enough 'fun'. The site no longer feels like 'me and my stuff'.

I also cut a lot of corners making the site so it's not search engine friendly. At all. That needs to be fixed as well. I meant to do it and kept putting it off, and now I realize that's because I'm really not at all happy with the current design. I already have a really good idea for a new one, so I plan to start working on that probably by September/October, depending on other projects.

It's horrible when a good plan falls short, but I guess that's just proof that we're growing. It's also proof that I need to give up being fancy and dust off my html and my color chart hexagrams and stop relying on ImageReady because it makes me want to go overboard on the pretty and make Practical walk the plank.

Anyway, I just have edits to do now before 'Girls Only' will be premiering on subsequentvisions.com, so that should be on site by next weekend, life permitting. Exciting, huh? Well, okay, maybe only for me right now, but I hope everyone will enjoy it.

My July 4th weekend starts in a bit over an hour, and I'm probably going to miss the fireworks again this year. Last year it rained. This year Mike is working until closing, so unless I can catch a few sitting on my deck I guess I'm s.o.l. I don't even know what day they're supposed to be on, really. A little depressed about that--I love fireworks--but not the end of the world.

Dad might pop by tomorrow, but other than that no terribly exciting plans for the weekend--lots of cleaning and generic repair work, plus some art projects that desparately need my attention. (I'm on a tight schedule this summer.) I'm going to try to get as much of the housework and errands done tonight as I can so I can actually enjoy my three-day weekend--or spend it with a pencil and heavy duty eraser--either way.

Well, guess that's all that's going on right now--and all I have time to write about. As exciting as ever, I know, but what're ya gonna do? I don't have time to go out and get a life. ;p

Back on Track

2008-06-30T12:02:00.000-07:00

I wrote all weekend. Took a large, looney toons mallet to the wall. Was antisocial and rude to everyone who tried to interrupt and didn't have a tail. Didn't let the kitties play with the laser nearly as much as I normally do on the weekends. Wore headphones and listened to j-pop so that I could ignore my roommate properly. I didn't go food shopping, ate ramen noodles for three days straight, and didn't do the dishes.

...and I am incredibly proud to announce that 'Girls Only' is back on its July release schedule.

Sometimes sacrifices must be made. Like food, sleep, and video games. I now dream exclusively in soccer balls. The commentator is Irish.

As you can see the effort has left me a little frayed around the edges, but it's Monday--cut me some slack.

I'm expecting (hoping) to get the first chapter on site (subsequentvisions.com) around the 2nd week of July. Keep reading the blog for updates!

Crappy Remixes

2008-06-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

As most of the people reading this blog probably know--I'm a music afficionado. I love discovering a good song for the first time almost as much as I love discovering a great book. And so, like with all the things I love--I have a pet peeve: crappy remixes (which is basically most remixes, actually). Every time I hear the remix of 'What Hurts the Most' by Rascal Flatts (not sure who does the remix version), for example, I get really disappointed after the first few notes when I realize which version it is and have to go listen to the original at the first opportunity.

But the one that's really got now is the 'Like a Prayer' remix. How HORRIBLE is that? The only difference is that it sounds like someone is playing Pong in the background. I mean, people get paid for this crap? It's like they decided at the last minute 'crap! we have to do that remix! We've only got an hour!' 'Wait, I have an idea. Dude, plug in the Atari.'

Then the producers get a hold of it and the conversation goes something like this:

Producer 1: This is the worst song I've ever heard.
Producer 2: Who cares? Get it on Z100 and it'll sell.

And here you thought it was about the music. Guess again. I guess I'm just completely disenchanted by the music business--and all business in general. It can't be helped. But these horrible remixes really are the worst--they rub me the wrong way.

~Denryu~

Old Books & Alien Cats

2008-06-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

You know you're a nerd when you Love--yes, capital L-O-V-E, old books. And when I say old books I don't mean books that were written before the dawn of time. I mean books that were PRINTED before you were born. I recently finished reading A. A. Attanasio's 'The Serpent and the Grail'--good, but didn't quite live up to its predecessors--IMHO, so last night I picked something new to read: "The City and the Stars" by Arthur C. Clarke, arguably my favorite author of all time.

'The City and the Stars' by all records was published in 1956--though, most perplexingly my copy has copyright dates of 1939, 1940, and 1967. (If someone can figure that one out, by all means let me know--my only guess is that Mr. Clarke copyrighted the work before it was ever formally picked up by a publisher, but that's just a guess on my part.) In any case, this book--picked up from a second-hand book shop many, many years ago--was printed at least a decade before I was born, which is somehow very cool. There's just something about the smell of a musty book, go figure. I love the yellowed pages and the scent of the old ink--and the story's pretty good so far too, of course.

Other than that, I still haven't found my good camera, but I got one of my old, crappy ones working and took a picture of Jitterbug. (See Below) Behold! Alien Cat! No, that is NOT a manip. The flash did that. Then Jitterbug came up next to the couch and looked at me like 'do that again! It was so cool!' haha. Cats are so weird, but I just adore my boys--can't help myself.

Twenty Days-Jess

2008-06-21T12:08:00.000-07:00

I was so unbelievably NOT prepared for twenty days this month. I ended up missing three days then making four posts in one. I started a day late, and I had no inkling as to where I was going. I started twenty days this month knowing almost nothing at all about Jess, now as it turns out I had a pretty well-planned character and didn't even know it! So, even if the posting schedule was a mess I think I'll consider this one a success. After all, the main purpose of twenty days is to better familiarize myself with my characters and learn new things. Oddly enough, both Shou and Jess are cat people. Must be because I love kitties!

Not a lot else going on really. I'm not sure if I'll make my July deadline because I'm off to a slow start, but keep checking this blog and I'll announce when 'Girls Only' chapter 1 will be out. I plan to do a lot of writing today while rewatching an old favorite--Gundam: 008th MS Team. I love the Gundam Series (for the most part--I'm not a fan of the original Gundam, G Gundam, or SD Gundam), and 008th MS Team has been my favorite for many, many years, so getting it on DVD for next to nothing is big exciting for me! Dub is pretty good too, so I can watch it in english and write--I've watched it at least a dozen times, so I don't need to pay THAT close attention--should prove productive until Mike gets home, in any case, so wish me luck!

All Painted Out

2008-06-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

Well, once again I'm blogging from work so this will be a pretty brief update.

This weekend was yet another creative bust. I was painting all weekend, and not in that fun, artsy way. I spent two days sequestered into a bathroom that could double as a sauna when the temperature outside goes over 7o degrees farenheit.

Sunday, my parents suddenly showed up to paint the deck. Bad timing? Actually, no. I was painting the bathroom and therefore got out of helping. The deck is the project I really didn't want to deal with so some deity must have been smiling on me for that much at least.

Even so, I'm beat. My arms, surprisingly, are fine, but my feet ACHE. Now I need new bathroom accessories because fish no longer quite go with the decor.

Shadow somehow managed to get beige paint on his hip even though he was locked out of the bathroom until this morning. And beige paint really shows up on black fur! Tonight I have to get him to sit still long enough to clean it off of him. Wish me luck on that, I'm going to need it.

Next weekend is probably going to be more painting--Mike's room this time. I'm already painted out though, I don't wanna!

Butterfly Girl & Other Nonsense

2008-05-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well, as usual I'm into too many projects at once. Sunday starts another Twenty Days, featuring Jesse Walsh, a character from the up and coming "Girls Only", which will begin on Subsequent Visions sometime in July--more on that when I have a better idea of when in July.

The cats are still taking up a lot of my attention because they're really too cute for words. Jitterbug is getting a lot more used to us, but I've yet to find that elusive camera and think I may have to buy another new one, even though I only bought the other one a month ago, if that.

If I have time, I'll make a more thorough search this weekend, but I doubt I will. Memorial Day came with power washing the deck to prep it for painting, so we have that in mind for this weekend. Buuut, it's supposed to rain so in reality we'll probably be painting the bathroom instead. One way or the other, painting is going to happen. The thing about having a place--the maintenance never ends.

But today's BIG NEWS is that after major issues with the alignment of the spine my first book, 'Butterfly Girl' is finally ready for purchase. You can check out a few samples of the pieces in the book via the writing section of my site: http://subsequentvisions.com/write.html , where you can also find a link where you can purchase the book, or if you want to Buy It Now go here:

I have some art in progress too, but there are considerably longer delays on that--some lineart that isn't scanned yet and a background that just REFUSES to work in a way that I can stand.

Well, that's about all that I have time to talk about for now, in any case.

More updates soon,
Until then I'm still plugging away,

~Denryu~

Out and About

2008-05-21T10:49:00.001-07:00

Lately, all of my posts have been about cats. Sorry about that, I AM up to other things, honest. It's just that I haven't had a weekend at home in a while, so progress is slow.

In Cat News, the new one, Jitterbug, is out and about now. This morning I had both of them weaving around my ankles while I was trying to brush my teeth. He's not ready yet to be approached, but he comes up to us for pettins and darts across the living room floor with Shadow rather happily. He's learning what all the cool kitty toys are for and is way more enamored with anything that has catnip than Shadow is. The two of them are really cute together, and I'll post some pics as soon as I can find my camera (I've misplaced it. Again.).

Shadow had his check-up at the vet today and apparently was very good for the vet. He didn't like the ride much, but managed alright and Mike tells me he's been forgiven. He's in good health, but I didn't really need a vet appointment to tell me that. He's one happy, energetic kitty!

Other Stuff:
First of all, I'm suffering from a horrible cold that is mostly just me having coughing fits about a million times a day. I haven't done much of anything since it hit, obviously, but I have been doing a lot of idea outlining for 'Girls Only' which should be on my website starting in July.

I'm working on coloring a new piece of art, but am having some serious background issues. That should be coming soonish as well.

As for the Craft Gallery, that's on hold until I find my damn camera. I want to add some dream catchers to my etsy and take some better pictures of what's up there already as well, but once again: Must. Find. Camera.

So what have I been doing while I'm sick? Mostly playing FlyFF and watching my cats run around because watching them play has become one of my favorite passtimes.

Now, work has been slow lately, but that doesn't mean I'm supposed to be online, so I'll cut this off abruptly as usual.

Will Update Again Soon.

Genius Cat

2008-05-19T16:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Mike and I went to the SPCA to get Shadow a friend (we renamed Peanut because the name just didn't suit. He's black and follows me everywhere, ergo, Shadow). Anyway, we got this quiet little gray kitty named Jitterbug. He found the most amazing hiding spot! I'd have taken a picture but it was such a dark little alcove and I didn't want to terrify him with the flash--he's scared enough being in a new house with new people.

Anyway, we have this dresser for junk that I've had since I was about 7. In the back, there's this 3 inch high little indent. Today we went looking for him because we were worried. We were going to let him stay there, of course, it just put my mind at ease to know where he was hiding and that he didn't by some bizarre happening gotten out of the house, you know?

So we were moving the dresser out of the way to move the bed in the spare room and mike saw his tail dart out for an instant. Well, he's moved to hiding on one of the chairs at the kitchen table instead now, but as long as we know where he is he can take as much time as he needs. Once he's used to his new home I'll take some pictures.

SubV up and running again!

2008-05-13T15:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, I FINALLY finished the remodel of my website. Okay, so the craft gallery just says "coming soon", but the links are all in place and subsequentvisions.com should be fully functional once again at last. I'm hoping to have that craft page gallery up within the next two weeks, so wish me luck on that.

In other news, my cat sounds like a meow mix commercial. In other words. He talks. ALL. THE. TIME. Haha. Okay, he settles down eventually, but he really hates being alone so when I get in from work, when I go to bed, and first thing in the morning "Meow meow meow meoooowww meow." Okay, so he's not loud, persay, just incredibly persistent. Mike and I are considering going back to the SPCA to adopt a friend for him. It might calm him down a bit. But we still love him, even if he is a blabbermouth.

I learned to make an omlette in a ziploc bag today, which is pretty neat. They actually come out rather good. I'm still not back on schedule, but at least I'm getting things done, right?

Guess that's all for now.

~denryu~

New Kitty

2008-05-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

Well, today Sophie was supposed to come visit, but she flaked again and forgot. We love her to death really but if she was a cereal, she'd be corn flakes, if you know what I'm saying.

But in other news, the above pic is the newest member of our family. We went to the MONMOUTH COUNTY SPCA and adopted him today. His name is Peanut and he's a year old, and just the SWEETEST thing. I think it's appropriate that Mike and I ended up falling in love with a solid black cat too. haha. Not the best picture in the world, but the best I've been able to get so far.

Okay, so I don't love the name, but I don't hate it enough to try renaming a cat that's gotten used to his name already. Mike agrees, so Peanut it is. We're already madly in love with him and he's only been home for a few hours and after hiding under the couch for an hour and a half now he's exploring.

Other than that the week's been a bust for me as far as getting anything done. I'm going to watch another episode of Bleach and then try to get some work done on the website revamp.

Cats and Dogs

2008-05-05T14:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm going to get nothing done at all this week. Let me explain--my Uncle passed away so my father had to go to Indiana for the funeral--which leaves me at his house Sunday through Wednesday taking care of his dog. Now don't get me wrong, Phoenix is a sweet thing, but seeing her reminds me very clearly of why I want a cat. Less MAINTENANCE. She's exausting and very excitable and makes you feel guilty about going to work and leaving her alone. She's a 75 pound german shepard puppy, so even something as simple as getting in and out of the house without her is a challenge, and forget about doing any writing or art when every time you THINK she's calmed down she starts nudging your hand.

Don't get me wrong. I love this dog, but I'll be glad when I get to give her back! That's about all I have time for for now. Time to let her take me for a walk.

The New News Again

2008-04-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I think it's about time for another update. Twenty Days didn't exactly go flawlessly in the first month, but I think it was a decent first effort. Fey got the flu so she missed a few days, and I found it's a lot easier to forget on the weekends when my schedule isn't quite as set in stone.

Today, I'm really sick--being a woman sucks, I'll tell ya, but Pamprin Max is a life saver, and Tabatha, who suggested I put a bottle of hot water wrapped up in a towel on my stomach. Now I can look at food and not feel the pressing urge to vomit. Yes, I know, nice mental image, isn't it?

Even so, I feel pretty much okay as long as I don't sit up, so even though I got nothing done last night, today I'm back on schedule working on my website. I put up a remodeling page at the index and plan to start putting up my other pages soon. Hopefully I'll be done around the middle of May, though the Jewelry & Crafts section will probably not be up until June. My digital camera committed suicide and I really can't do anything with that section of the site until I get a new one so I can take some decent pictures.

So this is probably very old news, but I use atspace for my website and i haven't been there since they changed the site around. It's a LOT more user friendly than it used to be and it looks prettier too. I like it a lot. The only thing they still don't have that I wish they did was the option to edit your html directly on the site. It's just a convenience, really, but since I basically do all of my pages with imageready and coffeecup it's really not a big hassle for me either way. It would just be nice for those little mistakes that come up, you know? Still, love the new feel of the site. It's great.

I'll leave it at that for now though and get back to work on the web design. I only work on it one day out of the week, after all, and if I have time I'd like to do a bit of the writing I was supposed to do when I was busy suffering yesterday. Busy busy busy!

Until Next Time,

~Denryu~

Quirky Habits and Other Nonsense

2008-04-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

After putting it off for almost two and a half weeks, I finally went to the foodstore tonight. I have a peculiar method of foodshopping: I grab a hand basket, start on the left side of the grocery store, and when the basket is full, I'm done. It's rare that I ever make it to the dairy aisle, which is sad, because I really love vanilla pudding. Haha.

Today I got to thinking, 'you know' that's really pretty strange.' Everyone has bizarre quirks like this though. Mike, for example, can't sit in the living room without having the tv on--and he's almost never watching it!

Humans are pretty strange animals, I guess, but in any case, it's nice that my cupboards aren't bone dry again. I was down to ramen noodles, rice, beans, and those packages of pasta seasoning that you buy but never get around to actually making. haha.

In other news, Twenty Days is going well so far, though I'm only on day, what? Eight? And TRADEJACK is up and running with some jewelry ready for sale. I need a better camera, but other than that I guess I can only hope they sell.

As an example, this is my 'Green Dragonfly' necklace, with a geniune semi-precious stone at the center. I have one in my personal collection with an amethys and just love it.

For this and other pieces for sale, visit me at http://tradejack.etsy.com (this has been a shameless plug, we now return to your normally scheduled babbling)

Well, that's all for now, gotta write today's blog for 20 days!

Organizing my Time

2008-04-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

The other day I told Mike (my roommate) that I was going to try to organize my time better. He answered "you mean, at all?" I would love to deny that I'm that bad, but I really am. I'm interested in so many things that I start one and before I know it my entire day has been swallowed whole. I've taken to reading during my lunchbreak at work, because if I don't I'll never be able to read a whole book again. I think the hardest part about a project is finishing it, and the world is full of so many distractions that if I tried to trace back my life up to this point I know I would find the ruins of thousands of false starts and many intances of falling short.

So I've made a schedule for myself. On Monday night, I slack off and do whatever suits my fancy. Tuesdays, I work on art, Wednesdays, I work on 'Land of Stars', Thursdays, I DDR because I've got to move, on Fridays, jewelry. Saturday, I work on my websites, and Sunday, I work on other writing projects (and DDR some more). On the one hand, I want to protest. I know it won't be long at all before I declare 'I'm not in the mood to do this today!' But on the other hand I think structure will really help me get things done.

Right now, my thoughts are very clear. Once I finish this blog, I'm going to get started on some writing. Mike isn't home and the house is very quiet. I haven't even turned on any music. I love music, but sometimes sitting in the house quietly with one lamp on listening the the sound of my fingers on the keyboard and the wind blowing outside is just what I need the most.

Mike can't sit in the livingroom without having the tv on. I can't help but think, in a world with this many distractions, it's amazing that anyone ever finishes anything. Well, I'm going to try to change a little, and maybe get something done for once!

Twenty Days Coming April 1

2008-03-30T11:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been up to all the usual craziness. I'm going to get my ass in gear and get back to writing, and start saving up for that Mac I want so badly. (a little bit at a time) Today Dad is coming over to get started replacing my sinking, wood-rotted bathroom floor, so I guess I'm going to be kicked out of my house and staying at mom's for a day or two. No internet, probably, but at least I should get some writing done. I had a bit of an emotional drain on Land of Stars, so I'm way behind my anticipated schedule, but I'm ready to get started on drafting the last chunk of it.

Other than that, I have some new projects going on. I'm going to be starting to sell some of my hand-crafts at Etsy, so give me a few weeks and then check out http://tradejack.etsy.com

And coming April 1 I have a new project! 'Twenty Days' is a endeavor where I wander through the minds of my many characters from whatever story I'm working on or thinking about at the time by writing a journal from their perspective, each getting 20 day stretches. Starting April 1, I will be blogging for 20 days straight as Shou-lyan Rei from my 'Land of Stars' project, so read up to get to know what makes this character tick (and what ticks him off). http://twenty-days.blogspot.com

Well, that's all for now. I'd better start packing up a day or two worth of clothes. At least I'll get to play with the cat. Augh...I want a kitty cat too...

Will blog again soon.
~Denryu~

Wordsmithing and Other Adventures

2008-03-26T16:56:00.001-07:00

Well, once again I haven't posted in ages. I've got a really bad habit of taking on too many projects and never finishing any of them. And hobbies? Let's not mention hobbies. Heh. Okay, so I'm going to mention hobbies.

Right now I'm really into making jewelry again. I hope to get some decent pictures and post them soon, but I don't really have any right now. Not only does my house have really bad lighting, but my camera devours batteries. I need to stock up on AAs. And research selling jewelry online because I was born with an unfortunate condition: I only have one neck. I know what you're thinking, it's a horrible handicap, but I've learned to live with it.

I've also been thinking that I really want to redesign my web page. I liked it when I first did it, but now I think 'guh, need a new look'. So that's another project on the horizon...somewhere. I say this because none of the things on my to-do list have gotten done. I suck like that. I really want to get my focus back and do some writing, but I'm really running out of time in the day to humor all of my interests! And they expect me to work on top of it? Bastards.

That said, the new job is going pretty well-extremely busy, but you know at least I know the job isn't going to disappear on me.

I did pretty well on taxes, so I was able to buy a laptop--I've been saving up for a while, and while it's not 'top of the line' or anything, I'm really happy with it so far. I was worried about vista because I kind of hate it, but I'm starting to get used to it and it's not as terrible as I used to think. The things about it I hate most (the constant asking me if I want to open things I clicked on, for example) tend to go away with extended use, so I'm surviving it. Could have something to do with the computer itself though. For anyone inquisitive enough to wonder, I got a Vaio, one of the only 4 brands of computer I'll buy because everything else is crap. (The other three are mac, dell, and toshiba). Now I've got to save up for that desktop mac I'm wanting so badly--that...is going to take a while longer. Haha. I feel like I'm cheating on my 8 year old vaio desktop, seriously. Well, it is what it is.

Other major purchases in the near future: tires, exciting, right? And I'm still itching for a Nintendo DS. For two games. I'm just a spaz like that.

Reading: 'The Serpent and the Grail' by A.A. Attanassio.
I seriously reccommend this series, starting with 'The Dragon and the Unicorn' to any fans of novels based on Arthurian Legends. Attanassio is just awesome (and will have to forgive me if I'm spelling that name wrong). I always think 'this is the writer that writers read' because each sentence is such a love affair with words that reading his work to me is like a kid overloading on Halloween candy.

Playing: Xenosaga 1, again. I got stuck last time, but I do really like the game, and this time I'm going to finish it damn it!

Listening: Athenaeum, Radiance Album. And if you know who this band is, then you're just as much of a dweeb as I am. Even one hit wonders have their charm, damn it! I find this sort of thing just the perfect writing music because it sounds good and I could sing along if I wanted, but I don't feel like I HAVE TO. And there's no impending urge to head bop or finger drum.

In any case, I'm going to try to update this blog more often from now on. We'll see if I can do it.

Until Next Time,
Live Like You Mean It!

~Denryu~

Loss

2008-01-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted here in a while. Sorry about that, I was overtaken by projects and a new job, but really, everything seemed to be going really well. I was pretty happy. Unfortunately, life is a perpetual state of change and this past Thursday company cutbacks saw me laid off.

Thursday and Friday were really rough. One minute I'd be coping alright, looking up jobs, sending out my resume, and the next I'd look at the clock, realize I wasn't at work, and feel unbearably depressed. I guess everyone goes through this sort of thing.

The weekend was easier. Since they weren't days I was normally working anyway, the clock didn't feel like an ominous presence.

Today, I got three callbacks and set up three interviews over the next two days, so I'm feeling a little more like my usual, optimistic self and have actually managed to post a little on my beloved Absolute Write.

There are so many things I want to do. I want to write poems and stories, and draw silly pictures and make t-shirts and maybe redesign my website. I thought I could use the time off to do some of these things and distract myself. But as it turns out what I want most of all is to be working, to have a reason to set my alarm clock and get up in the morning and go. My roommate thinks I'm crazy. If someone were to pay him to sit around on his ass all day he'd be all for it, but as for me, something as simple as getting up to go to work makes me so bizarrely content with the state of the world; I never noticed it before. Well, seeing as I've never been unemployed before I guess that's how it goes.

I'll make sure to keep any of my readers updated when things are, well, looking up, as it were. For now, wish me luck!

I Fail.

2007-12-17T15:02:00.000-08:00

I've been negligent. I've neglected my blog, my websites, Absolute Write, my story...

Let me rewind a little. After Nanowrimo ended I had every intention of continuing at something at least close to my manic pace. I failed. Did I fail to write 2k per day? No. I failed to write 2k per day of the story I'm supposed to be working on. I continued to plug along for a week. The second week I would write two paragraphs, my brain would protest, and I'd feel like a loser for not being able to do more. This is about when I realized the problem. Like real life people, my characters were demanding a break. My month-long sprint, for them, covered three years. Three years, without a vacation. Now, I'm not one for vacations, personally, but it's cruel of me to deny them their right to regenerate some energy between one war and another, so finding myself crawling and unable to break through the wall, I relented. I decided to take a few weeks off of the story and instead write some other totally unrelated nonsense that will never see anything but the innards of my computer, stuff that's ridiculous and mostly pointless, but fun to write.

I feel like sometimes you have to stop taking yourself seriously for a while and engage in this sort of nonsensical writing to remind yourself 'hey! I started doing this because it's fun and if I want to write some short stories with mediocre grammar and forget some line breaks and keep them my dirty little secret of how I entertain myself when no one's looking then that's okay!

So, I'm going to continue down this reckless path a bit longer, write a few nonsensical and pointless stories that have gotten into my head, and return to my more serious writing with a fresh start in January. I don't love my characters or my story any less, but it's kind of like living with the same person for fifty years. You don't love them any less (probably) than you did when it all began, but sometimes you just need to close the door and not think about it for a little while.

So, if you look at it in terms of my month's list of goals, I fail, but as they say: I've lost the battle, not the war.

I'll try to be a little less negligent of my friends, my family, my stories, my assorted websites, and everything else, but right now, there's an entirely pointless short story demanding 'write me!' And so, I must relent.

Galactic Voyages and Other Nonsense

2007-11-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

Wow. A lot as been happening lately. I'm pretty sure there's a deity out there somewhere who's really trying to either fuck with my head, give me a heart attack, or both. Well, Mr. Deity, I've got news for you: I don't bow down.

Despite a chaotic week, my nanowrimo goal has been a complete success! 100,000 words written in 28 days. Not only did I make it, I made it with two days to spare. That doesn't mean the story is done and that doesn't mean I'm not going to have an editing nightmare on my hands when it is, but I'm happy. I think I've got a wonderful space drama on my hands that will keep me busy well into the new year.

Next insanity: my boss sold part of his business. Unfortunately, it's the part that I've been working in. There's been some chaos and argument over where I was going to be working this past week, as my current boss wanted me to stay and work for him in what has to be the worst job of all time: it involves an unheated trailer with no bathroom and a steady flow of truck drivers. Thanks, but seriously, only if it were the last job in the world. The people he sold the business too wanted to hire me to do the job I've been doing, only for them. In the end that's how it worked out, but there was a lot of chaos in the meantime. So, this is my last day in Cliffwood Beach.

Now here's the funny part: I've spent all of November writing this space drama about colonies surrounding Neptune. My new office is in Neptune, NJ. Go figure. When I told my roommate his answer was "too bad you don't drive a Saturn." Though it does entertain me a little that I'll be making a galactic voyage to get to and from work every day, and it only takes me 35 minutes. I'm sure I can even run into some aliens if I stop by the local 7-11. Okay, bad joke, but I find it all mildly entertaining.

So, here I think my life is settling out and my roommate gets home and tells me that he was just informed that he won't get his first check from his new job until December 24th. Thanks Verizon, you've just ruined Christmas. Well, we'll be a little poor this year, but at the very least we'll survive it, and come January we'll make it work. I hate to admit we had to ask for a small loan from a family member to get him by until then: my mom is an angel. Seriously. I don't know what I'd do without her and I have to think of a REALLY nice present to say thank you. Really nice, and, unfortunately, fairly cheap. Guess I've got my work cut out for me, huh? I'll make it up to her on her birthday when finances aren't so tight.

So, chaos #2 has been averted. Now for some good chaos. Our potential 3rd roommate has become official, and Sophie is going to be bringing a carload of her stuff down this weekend. She'll be moving in officially next weekend. With her two cats. I'm excited. Financially it's great, but aside from that Mike and I have been trying to snag Sophie as our third roommate since college. A few years later it's actually happening. I think my house is going to be pretty chaotic and fun from now on, but I'm kind of looking forward to it.

Then I find out two nights ago that one of my best online buddies, a few years my junior, may have stomach cancer. I don't know a lot about cancer, but I know that doctors should NEVER tell you you might have it. They should say 'this is probably nothing, but lets run some tests to be sure' and then tell you AFTERWARDS. She's got an ulcer as it is and the stress can't be helping. And to top it all off, she's had family members die of stomach cancer so that's extra reason for her to start worrying. As I write this, she's in the hospital for tests and I'm sending her every good mojo vibe I can conjure up.

So, anyone religious that's reading this, pray for her! And any non-religious person, well, pray a little anyway, or at the very least cross your fingers. She needs all the good luck she can get, and lots and lots of hugs.

No Limits But the Sky

2007-11-16T14:36:00.000-08:00

So, today is my birthday, and I had the work project from hell. Okay, so it wasn't actually from hell--though there were a lot of 6's and 9's involved, often in repetition. It wasn't that bad, but imagine spending four and a half hours typing phone numbers. Yeah, like I said--blegh.

I didn't get any writing done today for that reason (oh well). I don't feel too bad about it though--I expected this to be a sort of wasted day. I got a cake and a card signed by my co-workers: I didn't know I had that many co-workers. haha.

So I got home and Mike (my roommate) had left my birthday present in my personal bubble, you know, in front of the computer. It's this adorable little inspirational book called 'No Limits But the Sky'. I saw it and laughed a little, thinking 'well, this is just the perfect present to get in the middle of nanowrimo, isn't it?' It's one of those books you never read from cover to cover, but you rest in a place that you see every day, but that's out of the way, and right when you're feeling frazzled, like everything is just a little impossible, you pick it up, open to a random page, read a passage or two, and everything seems more manageable. A silly thing really, but one that everyone should own.

For those of you nano-ers who may be reading this and feeling pretty frazzled yourselves, I thought I'd share a random excerpt:

I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.

~Booker T. Washington~

That's just the essence of Nanowrimo right there, isn't it? It's the essence of a lot of things, I suppose, but I rather find it appropriate for the mid-month nano blues that so many people are suffering from now. Everyone, chin up! You can do it! Nothing is stopping you but yourself.

No Limits But the Sky.

It's Madness, I Tell You!

2007-11-15T20:05:00.000-08:00

As I sit here, about to call it a night and claim some much deserved sleep, I find myself remembering these old anti-drug commercials: you know the one--there's an egg, and a frying pan. There's also a semi-attractive unknown actress that holds up the egg and says 'this is your brain'. Then she smashes it into the frying pan and says 'this is your brain on drugs, any questions?'

I have a nostalgic sort of love for those commercials, and now, I have my own rendition. It goes "this is your brain. this is your brain on nanowrimo. any questions?" None ma'am, but thank you for asking. It's such a chaotic, wonderful, disastrous, delightful experience and there are many, many more adjectives thrown in between--to boost the word count, of course.

Don't get me wrong. I love nanowrimo. I do. Seriously. It drives me out of my mind. I plot and plot and my characters decide to change the story on me, and by the end of the month I'm talking about my characters as if I just had a conversation with them. There are procrastination games involving video games and thousands of other people going crazy right along with you. I'm half-tempted to say I wish nanowrimo happened all year long--and then I wake up from that particular nightmare. No, thank you, one month is enough.

I get more writing done in November than I do in half a year on average. I don't let myself get distracted. I force myself to struggle through unreasonable daily word counts (4-5000 words/day, anyone?) and I love every hair-pulling, heart-wrenching minute of it. It may be the definition of insanity. Or maybe not.

I'm progressing nicely. I've finished one nano novel and am 11.5k into the second one. I plan to write another two in December after a day or two spent recouping.

Today, a friend of mine said she thought setting a daily goal for writing was ridiculous, that writing should be fun. I told her writing is fun. Writing is fun in the same way (I imagine) that jumping out of a plane is fun. You just jump. You go. And it's a rush. And you have this safety net that is your parachute--your imagination--but you can't help but think 'oh my god, what if it doesn't work this time?') Writing IS fun. Writing is also work. Writing is an experience and a disaster and a high and a low and you never know which it's going to be at any given moment. It's insane. We writers, we're crazy, and unless you're a writer yourself, you can NEVER understand what we put ourselves through.

But you know, writing, creating a work of fiction, it's unbelievable. It's amazing. I can't help but think 'my god, who knew all these people were in my brain? Who knew they could act so crazy? Who knew this amazing world was up there just waiting to be transcribed to the page? And it's all mine! I love it. I love that David invades my dreams with lame jokes and Isaak points out the beauty in the most mundane things (like my hot cocoa), and that Shou takes one step in my room, looks disgusted and says, "you're going to clean this weekend, right?" I love that there's a little Torin in my head who always wants to play with my hair and that I can now imagine my car as a 'hover craft'. I love that my video games will be sitting there, patiently waiting exactly where I left them when all the insanity is over.

...and I love that when I go into the post-nano, lower production rate blues, all I have to do is sit back and tell myself 'don't worry. It will happen again next year.'

We writers, amateur and professional alike, we're crazy folk. We're masochists, every last one of us, and we're exceptionally good at cheering one another on. So, to all you nanowrimo participants out there who may or may not be reading this--whatever happens, don't stop--this late in the game it would be like forgetting how to exhale. And to all those would be novelists out there, all of you who would 'like to write a book, but don't know where to start' I say, starting anywhere is fine, as long as you start.

Daffodils

2007-11-11T00:39:00.000-08:00

This month, I--like half of the rest of the writing world--am participating in nanowrimo. I've completed the goal of 50,000 words already, but am not nearly done. Still, I finished the chapter I'm currently working on and, flipping through some old files, I've revisited and revamped an old poem. I thought I'd share it here, for lack of other things worth saying at the moment.

Daffodils

I like the way your hand feels on my face.
When I turn to greet you, you’re always smiling.

There’s something different between us.
It’s subtle, but we’ve been the same for so long
even the daffodils notice.

If I recite Rumi at you one more time, you tell me,
you’ll probably go deaf for days.

I write so many poems about you that
I can no longer see you.

Early in the morning, my memories of you turn to sunrise,
but I think I'd cut out my tongue
before admitting it might be love.

Why We Write

2007-11-09T12:48:00.000-08:00

Congratulations. You live on the planet earth, and because you live on the planet earth, you're inundated daily with mostly useless data. TV. Radio. The Morning Paper. The blow-hard next door who just can't keep his damn nose out of everyone else's business. And despite all this meaningless information, you've decided you have something to say. Join the club.

I thought I'd start my blog with something interesting, but the fact is I keep looking at the clock thinking 'I really should be writing my NaNo Novel. Yes, that's right. Like everyone else in the galaxy, I am a nanowrimo participant. So you might be asking why in the hell I decided to start a blog in the middle of November. To that I answer with a resounding 'No Fucking Clue.' It seems like everyone has blogs these days. I felt left out.

So I guess you can guess I'm an amateur writer. I'm an amateur at a lot of things: writing, art, computer repair, life--in general. I may be a bit wet behind the ears but when it comes to anything, I believe that if someone tells you their a professional they're either lying to you, or they're an idiot--especially when it comes to the arts. The arts are trial and error folks--let's face it, if you say you're a professional then you're admitting to be a professional at 'winging it', at 'trying something new', at having no fucking idea where you're going or why but enjoying the ride.

I am not a professional. If I'm a professional anything, then I'm a professional hobbyist, a professional jack of all trades, a professional juggler of projects, and the occasional cat (kidding on this last bit, of course).

That said, I thought I'd take my first journal entry to explore a little. In this world so full of information, so full of nonsense and so chock full of words, people still write! People still find there are things worth saying, and this, I think, is an amazing thing. Millions, billions of books out there, and there's always someone who's come up with something new. The human mind is unbelievable. It's like a puzzle you can put together in ten thousand different ways, make something amazing every time, and it doesn't matter if you use all the pieces.

For myself, I remember being a little kid, cutting out cardboard hearts, and writing my parents poems about red roses and blue violets and happy-sappy things about how great they were and how much I loved them--from there, it ballooned. I wrote my first story on a journal my mother brought me home from the grocery store. She told me to use it "however you want". The story was awful, of course, as are all firsts in life--a disaster when we look back. I was determined to fill every page, every line. It's an incredibly liberating feeling, scratching the last words on the inside back cover and trying to read them years later over a faded floral pattern.
Since then, I've written a lot of nonsense and a few gems, but I take solace and pride in the fact that I will always be able to look back and think 'Mom, this is all your fault.'

So here is my challenge to you, any and all of my readers. Sit back. Close your eyes. Purse your lips in unimpeded thought (gag the children if you have to!), and answer that question for yourselves. Why do you write. What's so undeniable for you about this incredibly frustrating, mind-boggling, insanely uplifting, rejection-filled, spiritual experience that comes with putting pen to paper or fingers to a keyboard and letting them take you where they will? What do you love? What do you hate? And why, for god's sake, do you have to tell the world about it?

For myself, the answer is amazingly simple:

I write because my fingers like marathons. I write because my mind never sleeps. I write because day turns into night, because the stars still shine through the smog, and most importantly I write because I'm alive, because I'm breathing, because I, like everyone else in this crazy, crazy world, exist.

And that is what I hope to be able to claim--weeks and months and years down the line--that Uplift & Implode is all about--existing, being alive, and using words to express both life's greatest triumphs, and most crippling defeats--and more importantly still, where they lead us.